Okay so here's the SCOOP: the first thing you do is fill out this cute little form! Then you fly onto my waitlist. Entering the pool is totally free. Don't overthink it; you're perfect and I love you. You'll also have to sign my Code of Conduct: I just wanna protect all my noodles and make sure everyone is being nice.

Congrats: you're on my Waitlist! Now you just sit back and relax! Have some juice! Get a snack! Because I'm a one-lady matchmaking machine, it takes a minute for me to read over everyone's entries and start my sneaky lil love process. I also take on a limited number of clients at a time to ensure that everyone gets a match who is just mm mm good. In the meantime, you can listen to my podcast, or read the love stories and updates I've shared!

You will receive a text when you are off the waitlist, which means that I have a MATCH FOR YOU!!! The cost to get your match/matches is a one time fee of $10. After I recieve payment, you will get a text with your matches' name, number, and their facts! This isn’t about texting, so try to dial those digits and hop on that phone call whenever you can.

Now get on that phone!! Call them beep them decide if ya wanna meet them! I think phone calls are the best way to really get to know someone you meet over a dating app. Have fun and enjoy talking old school style. No more endless swiping and half-heartedly texting til 3 a.m. with a stranger who also likes the Office.

To UNLOCK your NEXT MATCH, you have to report back to me! I wanna know how it WENT! I'm so excited! I'm waiting by the phone with bated breath. DID YOU GUYS FALL IN LOVE?? No? Ok that's fine I'm over it. I'LL DO BETTER NEXT TIME! Don’t worry, all details will be confidential and nothing will be posted without full consent, pseudonyms, and slight changes to make sure everyone is havin good old fashioned fun. So what are you waiting for? Dive in.